My Relationships

Friendship has always been an interesting thing for me. First let me say I sure appreciate those who are good friends. But what is interesting to me is the way my personality effects my friendships. Like all human beings there are many things that make up my personality. Humorous, fun, spontaneous, morose at times, given to anger, very open, honest, and I'd think my friends would say he's not a hypocrite. Good and bad my friends accept me. I like that. But what really has the biggest impact on my relationships is the fact that I am an extrovert by nature. I am an instigator. I call my friends and say, "Hey let's do this or that." It goes along with being an extrovert. It also tends to create relationships with many who are not instigators.

The interesting thing to me is that being an extrovert takes energy, and sometimes I get tired. I get tired of initiating. I get tired of making relationships "happen". When I get tired I stop calling and instigating those activities. That's when I can sometimes identify who are my real friends. (I say sometimes because what I am about to say is not always the case.) I have noticed three responses when I get tired and cease to initiate.

First are those who call me and keep in contact. I could say these are my best friends but I'm not sure that is always the case. Regardless, the relationship continues, and I like that.

The second response I see is some people have gotten mad at me. They call and complain that I don't call anymore, as if the their phone never worked and it was always my responsibility to call them. I think this is a natural response from hurt that I no longer call. Of course it is absurd to think that it was somehow my responsibility to maintain the relationship. Usually when this happens I recognize the relationship as pretty one sided and my interest in maintaining it lessens.

The third thing I've noticed is that some people never call and never seem to mind the lack of communication. What is fascinating to me is that I can't get a finger on these relationships. I have some people who almost never call, yet I consider them great friends and I think I always will. I have a friend, Lonnie, in China. We almost never talk, but I love the guy and when I do get to talk to him or see him it always seems right, regardless of how long we've been out of touch. Other people I don't talk to and it seems like the relationship dies and if I do see them again there is no chemistry at all. I can't explain it.

So what you say? I guess I'd just like to give a little friendly acknowledgement to those I consider great friends. Some I haven't talked to in years but if they read this I want them to know how much I appreciated their friendship. And please, don't be offended if your name isn't listed, if you are a good friend, you know it. So here goes.

Starting in High School where my memory is weakest... Eric Wynkoop, Anne Zach, Debbie Gage, Paul Kilgore, Jerry and Jim Glessman, Tim Sprauer, Todd Brown, Jim Ilg and Dale Carey... you all meant much to me in the dark years. LOL

In college, Lonnie Heinke, Bob Everest, Tim Shaw, Brian Vaughan and Chris Bernard.

Early ministry years... The entire Imig Family, Rick and Mary, and all the guys I coached in soccer (I really liked my entire team) and Jason my assistant coach whom I would absolutely love to coach with again even though I cannot remember his last name. Jill Britton and Anya Earl, Chad Hedberg, and Dave Schwartz.

And Finally the last 10 years... too many to mention, so I won't try. You know who you are and you know I love you!