Holidays

Gather round the hearth,
family and friends
Join in daylong feast,
the mead to laughter bends
And when the day is done,
draw nearer to the flame
Stoke your pipe and join in song,
the memories our aim

Drive

A battle wages inside my head
and fills my mind with dread
The very thought leaves me wrought
near' encasing my feat in lead

It's the chance that I may not succeed
and fail in whatever deed
Where such weed came to me?
Who planted such ugly seed?

Some spawn from friends who tried and fail
some from my foe's who shout
"He'll never make it. He can't succeed.
don't hire such a lout."

Such fear kindles many flames
most stoke me to succeed
but fear can stifle all the drive
if becomes too strong a reed

Regardless I must take a stand
and pull such weed with root
Before it grows to big to kill
and my life and actions loot

Far better than weed to grow a tree
from nut called confidence
with trunk of nerve and branches bold
such mettle bears exuberance.

STOIC SPLENDOR

Majestic he stands his head in the cloud
Eons pass before he is bowed

Along with each season he changes his coat
Over the golden most poets do gloat

Feet in the sea, where runs icy veins
Gathering force whenever it rains

Pauldrons draped in a pure white cape,
Forest green chest plate beneath rocky nape

All warriors would wear such strength if they could
His jerkin the birch and cedar of wood

Against all forces a battle he’ll fight,
Wind snow and rain erode his great height

How many will live with what he provides?
How many will miss chance to walk on his sides?

Does he regret those who pass without seeing.
Such magnificent beauty and permanent being?

Nay he stands ever silent never ranting nor rave,
Watching all who miss him enter the grave

Their life seems so short to his existence
But even for he there's no resistance

But eons will pass before he is bowed
For now he stands proud his head in the cloud.

My Relationships

Friendship has always been an interesting thing for me. First let me say I sure appreciate those who are good friends. But what is interesting to me is the way my personality effects my friendships. Like all human beings there are many things that make up my personality. Humorous, fun, spontaneous, morose at times, given to anger, very open, honest, and I'd think my friends would say he's not a hypocrite. Good and bad my friends accept me. I like that. But what really has the biggest impact on my relationships is the fact that I am an extrovert by nature. I am an instigator. I call my friends and say, "Hey let's do this or that." It goes along with being an extrovert. It also tends to create relationships with many who are not instigators.

The interesting thing to me is that being an extrovert takes energy, and sometimes I get tired. I get tired of initiating. I get tired of making relationships "happen". When I get tired I stop calling and instigating those activities. That's when I can sometimes identify who are my real friends. (I say sometimes because what I am about to say is not always the case.) I have noticed three responses when I get tired and cease to initiate.

First are those who call me and keep in contact. I could say these are my best friends but I'm not sure that is always the case. Regardless, the relationship continues, and I like that.

The second response I see is some people have gotten mad at me. They call and complain that I don't call anymore, as if the their phone never worked and it was always my responsibility to call them. I think this is a natural response from hurt that I no longer call. Of course it is absurd to think that it was somehow my responsibility to maintain the relationship. Usually when this happens I recognize the relationship as pretty one sided and my interest in maintaining it lessens.

The third thing I've noticed is that some people never call and never seem to mind the lack of communication. What is fascinating to me is that I can't get a finger on these relationships. I have some people who almost never call, yet I consider them great friends and I think I always will. I have a friend, Lonnie, in China. We almost never talk, but I love the guy and when I do get to talk to him or see him it always seems right, regardless of how long we've been out of touch. Other people I don't talk to and it seems like the relationship dies and if I do see them again there is no chemistry at all. I can't explain it.

So what you say? I guess I'd just like to give a little friendly acknowledgement to those I consider great friends. Some I haven't talked to in years but if they read this I want them to know how much I appreciated their friendship. And please, don't be offended if your name isn't listed, if you are a good friend, you know it. So here goes.

Starting in High School where my memory is weakest... Eric Wynkoop, Anne Zach, Debbie Gage, Paul Kilgore, Jerry and Jim Glessman, Tim Sprauer, Todd Brown, Jim Ilg and Dale Carey... you all meant much to me in the dark years. LOL

In college, Lonnie Heinke, Bob Everest, Tim Shaw, Brian Vaughan and Chris Bernard.

Early ministry years... The entire Imig Family, Rick and Mary, and all the guys I coached in soccer (I really liked my entire team) and Jason my assistant coach whom I would absolutely love to coach with again even though I cannot remember his last name. Jill Britton and Anya Earl, Chad Hedberg, and Dave Schwartz.

And Finally the last 10 years... too many to mention, so I won't try. You know who you are and you know I love you!

Someone Famos Died Today

A famous popstar died today. I will first admit I liked his music. I will also say absolutely nothing about his death gives me pleasure, humor, or finds me glad or happier in anyway. However I am greatly disturbed by the reaction of the media and many people in our country.

I guess what bugs me the attention that so many people give to the popstar who was a known drug addict, anorexic, and spent thousands if not millions of dollars changing his outer looks with numerous surgeries. This in juxtaposition to children who die in the thousands everyday because they do not have food. They starve.

I'm just not sure how to feel but I know the attention one gets over the other makes me sick and sad.

Life is like a walk through the mountains...

So I am walking around in the Alaskan Mountains a lot lately and it occurred to me. My life is very much like this walking. Good times and bad, tough times and easy. Sometimes the walk has been almost too much to bear. At times I've needed the encouragement of someone else who is walking with me. Other times I prefer to go it alone. Now and then I get in a deep valley that seems impossible to climb out of, but I don't stay there too long. I suppose I would if I gave up, but who really gives up.

Eventually I find myself walking up the side of a mountain and the view gets a bit clearer. As I get closer to the summits the excitement always grows. Reaching any summit is always rewarding. But the summits are a lot like the valleys, you don't stay there long. You just can't, life happens and you have to move on. Sometimes you can reach the next summit without going through another valley, just a small dip and you hit your next high point. However, sometimes the next peak is miles away, and you have to travel through many tough valleys. Sometimes those valleys are filled with fog and you can't even see if you are making any progress at all. Another thing I've noticed, sometimes those valleys that you dread you look back on and say, "that was beautiful." I once had a friend comment about the sorrow he experienced after his fathers death, "There was a sweet emotion... I felt alive."

That's the way it is as we travel life. You never know what's next but if you keep striving eventually you get to the top of another mountain, and it's always worth the effort.

My Attempt at poetry, written with Brina while camping.

Day

A world of quiet as darkness runs,
Stars escape and color comes

Soft breeze feels like a fine cool drink,
Dew teases eyes with the light morning wink

Brilliant she rises over the east,
Waking the world from great to the least

Driving the singers each from his nest,
While chasing the pitch from east to the west

Their songs a reveille, greeting the day,
Soon lost in the noise as the world has its say

Busy not hearing the world grinds along,
Working and playing, ignoring their song

While she travels her circle which no one can stop,
And over horizon soon starts to drop

All tire and pause as she fades in the west,
And paints living canvas each moment seems best

The world grows quiet as darkness comes,
Stars come out and color runs

I wait for the snow to melt

Another amazing day fishing in Alaska. Standing on a small island in a river next to the ocean, fishing for hours, the tide coming in, and what started as an island is now about a foot under water. Before climbing into the boat, I find myself staring across the inlet, sunset just beginning, contemplating the day.

The salmon catching in full force today. (Notice I didn’t say fishing, I said catching.) I lost count after catching my twentieth, but that was hours ago. The last two silvers I’ve kept, regretfully finishing off my day of bliss. I’m partial to the silvers, or Coho Salmon. Their surreal bodies seem cleaner and fresher to me. Not even Las Vegas with all it’s dazzling lights can cast the same spectacular silver flash of brilliance these fish make streaking through the water.

Throughout the day I’ve taken my rain coat on and off countless times. Local’s will tell you, “If you don’t like the weather in Alaska, wait ten minutes.” Today it seems as if Alaska is trying to prove that to me. One moment a large patch of vivid blue sky above, the sun hot on my back, I peel off my coat and continue fishing. The next moment the sky darkens to an unbelievable grey and rain falls so hard it almost seems as if there is no separation between river and sky. Like a chameleon the river changes in unison, adding to the illusion. Now steel grey it comes alive as water falls into it in torrents. I’ve only seen it rain this hard in a few places in the world, usually tropical rain forests, but only here in Alaska does it seem normal. And then, like that, the river turns blue again. The sky is clear. The sun, golden, and seemingly brighter than ever before beats down. Steam rises from the river and the ground all around and again, I peel off my coat.

I never tire of looking up at what surrounds me. From the ocean spring up the forested mountains, rugged, climbing only to give way to the glaciers, which in turn rise up to the brilliant blue sky. Clouds rushing across the sky change the spectacular view moment by moment. Rays of sunlight, like veiled spotlights shine down through distant rain showers, one moment lighting up the forest to a bright green, the next moment giving a glacier the dazzling brilliance of a rough diamond. Then the clouds darken, the forest transforms to a grey-green, and another deluge drops around me.

Ducks fly over the trees and swoop in like jet fighters, skimming across the water. They land and act as though we have disturbed their home, squawking, and quacking as they keep their distance. In contrast several grizzlies have appeared as quickly as the ducks but they come straight out of the brush in startling fashion. Unlike the ducks they seem oblivious to us as we slowly back away giving them first choice of fishing spots. I have seen no moose today, but that is the way it is in the wilds of Alaska, unpredictable, untamed, raw, and a beauty unsurpassed.

Now, I take one last look around. The sunset, which in Alaska might last two or even three hours, is in full force, painting a sky that only a poet could describe on paper. Years ago, on my first trip here, I fell in love. I fell in love with the fish, the animals, the beauty, the independent people, the weather, the uncrowded towns, the seasons. I fell in love with it all.

My wife fell in love with it too. After one ten day trip with our three children we were standing on a river fishing. Our plane was scheduled to leave in three hours and my wife began crying. She didn’t want to leave, ever. So now we have moved from the warm comfort of California. Today I wait out the winter for another spectacular day of fishing. I wait for the snow to melt, to take my daughters and my son out, to fall in love with the same beauty that my wife and I have fallen in love with.

I'm Lucky

Over the last few years I've had a great number of people come to me for advice about marriage.  It seems that they are always experiencing a great deal of conflict in their relationship and want my advice, like I have some secret.  LOL.  At first I felt honored to try to help others.  Then I felt irritated at both people and the obvious selfishness that was creating the conflict.  After awhile I just felt annoyed that people wasted my time asking for the obvious and never taking any advice.  Now?  Now I no longer engage in the conversation. 

I've come to realize that I don't know the first thing about dealing with conflict in marriage.  You see I've had it easy.  I'm lucky you might say.  I got married a long time ago and I think it still feels like a honeymoon.  We get along.  We love being married.  We have fun.  Of all the things I would love to change in life, being married to Kathy is definitely not one of them.  

So now, if you are thinking of coming to me and asking for advice about conflict in your marriage, let me save you time and give you my answer.  "I can't really help you.  I love being married.  I don't know or understand what you are going through.  Kathy is great.  Kathy probably makes my marriage what it is by being the most selfless person, but I also try to put her first.  The bottom line.  We are in our 17th year of bliss and honeymoon.  Sorry I can't help."